If you accidentally hurt your dog or cat – or you had to put your pet down – these ways to deal with guilt for causing your pet’s death will help you cope.
When Your Pet Dies: A Guide to Mourning, Remembering and Healing by Alan D. Wolfelt is a guide for pet owners who are struggling with grief when their pet dies. This book will help you understand why your feelings are so overwhelming, and help you cope with the guilt you feel about your pet’s death. The topics discussed include practical suggestions for grieving, ideas for remembering and memorializing one’s pet, understanding the many emotions experienced after the death of a pet, understanding why grief for pets is unique, pet funerals and burial or cremation, celebrating and remembering the life of one’s pet, coping with feelings about euthanasia (and guilt about putting an animal to sleep), helping children understand the death of their pet, and things to keep in mind before getting another pet.
These tips are inspired by a reader who shared his guilty feelings about putting his dog to sleep. Saying good-bye to your beloved dog or cat is heartbreaking – and it’s even worse if you feel guilty about your pet’s death. I hope these tips help. “If there is a heaven, it’s certain our animals are to be there,” says Pam Brown. “Their lives become so interwoven with our own, it would take more than an archangel to detangle them.”
4 Ways to Deal With the Guilt of a Pet’s Death
Some people accidentally cause their dog or cat’s death by accidentally leaving them in harm’s way. The most important thing to remember is that you did NOT purposely cause your pet’s death. Dealing with guilt may be a bit lighter if you know you would’ve acted differently if you had the chance. If your actions led to your pet’s death, you have to keep reminding yourself that you did not deliberately harm your dog or cat. It was an accident, and you would have done things differently if you had know what would happen.
If you’re struggling with grief and guilty feelings because of the circumstances surrounding your dog or cat’s death, read Letting Go of an Animal You Love: 75 Ways to Survive Pet Loss. I interviewed veterinarians, grief counselors, and pet experts for the best ways to survive the death of a beloved dog or cat, and I included stories from real pet owners who coped with guilt and grief in sometimes surprising ways.
Identify “imagined” guilt about the loss of your dog or cat. Not recognizing that your Yorkie, cockapoo, or Siamese cat was ill doesn’t mean that you weren’t paying attention or taking good care of him or her! This is imagined guilt. Animals can’t always communicate their physical health; pet owners can’t see inside their bodies and brains.
Another type of “imagined” guilt is if you’ve accidentally caused your pet’s death by letting him out, keeping him in, or losing track of his whereabouts. If you did not deliberately set out to harm your pet, then you have nothing to feel guilty about. I know this is easier said than done – and it takes effort to forgive yourself.
If you’re dealing with imagined guilt because of your pet’s death, remember that sometimes illness or disease overcomes our dogs, cats, and other beloved pets…and there’s nothing we can do. This loss of control is a very painful — but real — part of life.
I recently wrote How to Forgive Yourself for Not Protecting Your Dog, to help you deal with the guilt you feel. Please take a moment to read it — it’s the comments on this article that inspired me to write it.
Remember that it’s normal to feel guilty when your dog or cat dies. Whether your guilt is real or imagined, know that it is a normal grief reaction. Even the most “innocent” pet owners feel guilt over a pet’s death. For instance, I now cringe when I recall how angry I was at my beloved cat, Zoey, for scratching the basement door (I didn’t realize the door to her litter box was shut tight, and she couldn’t get in). That was over 12 years ago, and I still feel guilty! Healing after you had to put your pet down often requires forgiving yourself.
Goodbye, Friend: Healing Wisdom for Anyone Who Has Ever Lost a Pet is the number one bestselling book on pet loss and grief on Amazon. I love the book because it offers both heartwarming stories and practical guidance on grieving the loss of a pet. It’ll help you deal with guilt when you caused your pet’s death.
Identify “real” guilt about your pet’s death. Real guilt may spring from your feelings that you neglected your dog or cat’s annual vaccinations, daily food intake, exercise habits, and “quality time” with you. If you’re struggling with real guilt, remember that you had reasons for doing what you did. The stress of money, work, kids, marriage, and daily life may have taken precedence over how you treated your pet. Maybe you didn’t make the best choices.
Healing after your pet’s death involves accepting that you wish you would’ve done things differently — and talking this through with your family, friends, or loved ones.
Remember what you did right — because you did a lot right. Your dog or cat loved you beyond all reason – so you must have done something right. How did you love and take care of your pet? Balance your real guilt with the real ways you loved your pet. You took good care of your dog or cat in many ways; don’t wave that away.
Dealing with guilt when you caused your pet’s death isn’t just about grieving; it’s about cherishing the best parts of your life with your dog or cat.
Do you feel like you caused your dog or cat’s death? I encourage you to share your experience below. Talking and writing about it is healthier than ignoring it, and can help you process your grief.
108 comments On Dealing With Guilt When You Caused Your Pet’s Death
I lost my best friend Felix on Tuesday. He was a cockatiel that had been with me for over 21 years. I noticed weeks ago that he was not feeling well. I usually order bird biotic and keep in on hand but with covid, it has been impossible to get bird biotics. I tried several other options and called the vet. It was two weeks before they could get him in. By then he was in bad shape. I should have taken him in to the emergency vet that is several hours away, instead I waited because I was dealing with a bad work situation and did not take off. I believe in my heart that Felix would still be here had I reacted faster. I took him to 3 different vets in our area that could not figure what was wrong with him.
Twinkie had gave birth I could not find the puppies I had found out my friend passed the day before. I left to Zumba class to get distracted and get support didn’t make it back home until the next day she was weak so immeditly I gave her Pedialyte she seem weak gave her amoxicillin then I decided to give her some wet food she didn’t want to eat but I figured she need it food for her immuy system to fight her infection i forced fed her 2 syringes of wet dog food right away she went weak i rushed to the vet was there in 8 min right away the vet started working on her 15 min later she died the Vet told me that it was most likely she died because of me force feeding her that it went to her lungs. I feel like I killed my dog and I miss her so much she was so unique so free spirited and she adored me she loved sleeping with me but she was dirty so for the last week I didn’t let her in my bed I feel like a horrible person how I was with her I feel like I didn’t take good care of her and she did its my fault for hanging out with friends instead of taking care of her. I feel like a piece of shit for not taking care of her
Same happened to me 🙁 my cat got stuck in the cat door a while back on the collar , and if i was not there to see it she would have died , but after she became deaf on both ears cus i took her to a bad vet that miss treated her ears and made her deaf , i had so much blame cus of that , anyways after she got stuck like that i promised my self she should never have a collar on again , but since she now had become deaf i dident want her to get run over by cars this winter in the dark , cus she cant hear them , so i decided i will risk putting on the collar again so she wont get run over by traffic , 1 january my other cats woke me up screaming at me , she was stuck in the cat door and suffocated to death and its all my fault for putting the collar on her again , i have not been able to eat in 3 days , im so ashamed and feel guilt of her death , never been this sick and heart broken ever in my life , even after losing family members (people) not pets , losing a 11 year old friend u saw and talked to every day , every morning and night before u go to sleep , head bumping love , all ripped away and i caused the death of my beloved cat cus of my choices , u are not alone , this is horrible , the worst thing , i can barely write this without choking up , barely breathe..
I really appreciate this article. In my grief over the very recent, traumatic loss of my cat, and the love I have for all animals, I find the comments too triggering to read. But I want all who commented to know that you are not alone in your agony and that, as I pray about my own grief, I will include all of you, and your pets, in my prayers.
I’m joining you guys today because I feel responsible for my mom’s dogs death… He was having weird episodes he had 2 of them prior to the one last night, I took him to the vet the first 2 times and they originally said they think there was something wrong with his brain and was thinking some type of seizures. The vet called and said we should consider putting him to sleep, but then called me back in 10 min and said nm he’s fine he can go home. Then the second time he did this again and i called the vet they said to watch him and if it doesn’t go away bring him in, so I brought him in. The vet said they don’t know what’s wrong because it would be a whole bunch of expensive tests, but he gave me anti seizure meds that I was supposed to be giving him 2 times daily. Well I did that for months but then a lot of stuff happened in between time and I slacked on and off…. All of a sudden he had another episode last night, what would happen is his front legs would go stiff straight and it spasm and then he would pant like crazy. So I hurried up and put one of the meds in his mouth and waited, then called the vet and she said that it doesn’t sound like seizures it’s sounds like something else but she said to watch him. So I assumed that he would pass it because he has other times at the vet, all they give him is fluids and muscle relaxers so I’m thinking he will be fine then, it was after hours and I would’ve had to take him out of town to emergency. So I massaged his front legs and kisses him tried to get him to relax and it wasn’t working, he just kept panting and kicking his back legs. So I gave him to my mom (who I take care of) and said mom we just have to let him pass it and go through it, it’s happened before, she said to me that he was going to die and my dumb self said no because I didn’t think so. Then I told her to watch him and I went to bed, she woke me up in the morning and I came down not knowing or hearing her tell me he was dead in the bed, so I looked for him thinking he was alive and pulled the blankets back and went to grab him and he was dead, stuff eyes open. I was modified and wanted to die in the moment! I hit every wall in my house and blame myself for him dying! She said she put him under the covers while he was going through his episode but she said that’s how he likes to sleep, I’m thinking to myself if he was panting it he probably was hyperventilating and if the actual condition didn’t kill him then maybe he suffocated under the blanket because I couldn’t move even if he wanted to because his front legs were paralyzed. Either way i still feel the blame comes back to me… What if I wouldve taken him to the vet? What if I didn’t leave him in the room with her? Why did I let him suffer? Why didn’t I go with my gut? All these why’s and what ifs are unbearable. You didn’t deserve to die like that, you were my mom’s companion during her cancer and now with all her after effects. We believed you were going to be here for a long time and that when my mom passed we would still have to take care of you. You were annoying little Chihuahua but you were only 8… You had so much more love and life to give!!! I’m sorry and I hope you forgive me prince, I know you suffered and it wasn’t right, even if you were going to die regardless last night I should’ve not left you in there with mom, I should’ve taken you to the vet so you could go peacefully
I am at fault for my 12 year old golden retriever’s passing. I let her out of the house as I always do. I had errands to run and I strapped my daughter into her car seat and pulled my vehicle out of the garage. The dog was nowhere to be seen and I thought she had gone to the back yard to where my husband was. I felt like I drove over a small hump and I stopped and got out to see what it was. Our poor girl was crawling out from under our vehicle and we immediately took her to the vet hospital. We waited all evening and night and found out she fractured her pelvis in three spots that required extensive surgery. With her age and the recovery it would have taken to get her back to a semi normal state, we decided it wasn’t fair to put her through that and chose to end her life and suffering. I cannot stop blaming myself for letting her out and running her over. I have flashbacks of it all and cannot eat or sleep.
I feel so guilty cause my cat died like I was cleaning my kitchen table and I tipped my table sideways cause there’s bugs on it to get them off not realizing way later cat was there it fell again but on top part flat squished my cat didn’t hear it make a sound than after lifting my table I saw it laying there I picked it up panicked took it to the room thought it wasn’t to bad than it died a minute after feel bad cause it felt like my fault I just worry for myself and kids after this don’t want nothing to happen to them feel like it will come back to me like god will punish me if anything I don’t want my kids to suffer but let it be me they don’t deserve to suffer but i feel like it should be me hurts me scares me I did a prayer smudged my place still feel uneasy bout the situation I know when I was 9 yrs old same sorta thing happened accidentally my cat got squished under my bed by jumping on it I cried so hard that time it’s traumatizing don’t want any more pets now at all feel bad please lord forgive me hurts bad like seems every thing always goes bad for me my son recently got murdered too why me I just want all this suffering dying to end please
Our perfect 6-month old rabbit Lolly died under anaesthesia on Monday and it was probably my fault. Anyone reading this – I’m here to grieve, and to give my story because yours have helped me. I don’t want to sue anyone, it’s my fault alone. I just miss my baby.
It was supposed to be a routine operation to spay her so we could get her the companion she craved. I thought I’d done everything right: all the right vaccinations at the right time, a good habitat at home, clueing myself up on common illnesses and what to look for, how to spot depression, the right food, and finding her the best, most experienced rabbit surgeon I could. She lectures in rabbit surgery at the Royal Veterinary College in London. That experienced, but it wasn’t enough to compensate for my stupidity.
I gave her no food the night before the operation. I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to get her in her carry-case to get her to the hospital the next day, and if she was super-hungry I could put her food bowl in there with some of her favourite food and she’d go inside. She hated that case. She knew it meant a trip to the vet.
I knew not to starve rabbits before surgery, but I had stupidly assumed that as long as she had plenty to eat on the day itself she would be fine. I thought as long as she didn’t have an empty tummy she’d be fine. I thought it was an empty tummy that was a risk. I thought that because I didn’t know, and I didn’t know because I didn’t ask. It’s on me.
She was so healthy and full of life, and they’d given her a thorough check-over two weeks before. I did think twice about it before I put her to bed for the night, and ran it past my wife, but she said to me ‘she’ll be fine’. I believed her because she had two rabbits growing up. But they were outdoor bunnies, with constant access to grass. I didn’t take responsibility for the decision, and that’s on me, always.
She did eat a reasonable amount before we left the house, and some in the car on the way there. Bunny kibble and fruit. I said goodbye to her outside the animal hospital. I knew there was always a risk but I was told it was 0.7% in healthy bunnies. If there was any risk though, I wanted to do it. I put my finger through the mesh to stroke her ears. I thanked her for her life. I told her I loved her. I do love her. She was our perfect girl.
Before the nurse came out and collected her and soon after the surgeon came out with her assistant to speak to me. I couldn’t go in because of Covid-security. I said she’d had ‘plenty to eat’. The vet seemed satisfied. I wish I’d said WHEN she’d been eating too. Maybe they would have cancelled the operation, given me the scolding I deserved, and sent me home to think about what I’d almost done. I wish.
I left and walked home. It was raining, and it took me an hour but I wanted the exercise. We waited in all day for the phone call. We had one call as an update, saying that Lolly was running around and eating and seemed okay, but the operation had been delayed because an emergency case had come in.
The vet called late afternoon. Lolly had gone into cardiac arrest as soon as they anaesthetised her. They pumped her full of drugs to reverse the anaesthetic. They ‘breathed for her’ for 40 minutes until she started breathing for herself. They put her in an incubator. The vet said ‘now it’s up to her’, but the likelihood of brain damage was very high. She was going off shift but her colleague would call if there were any developments.
I stood in the kitchen. My wife was in the living room. I didn’t want to go in and tell her. I didn’t want to shatter her world. I went in, I told her. I said we need to prepare ourselves for the worse. We cried from the depths of ourselves. We held each other. I’ve cried more this week than in the rest of my adult life put together.
Mid-evening the other vet called. Lolly had started seizing. Likely brain damage. She said that Lolly’s chance of living a normal life if she woke up at all was almost nil, and that there was a chance she was suffering. I gave authorisation for her to be put to sleep. It was the only way of loving her I had. I miss my beautiful girl.
A few days later now. Yesterday my wife went to her mother’s for the day and I went to Richmond Park nature reserve in London. We agreed to grieve in our own ways just for that day. We grieve differently.
There’s a rabbit warren there so big you can see it on Google Earth. I went there with a tiny bit of apple – along with raspberries that was Lolly’s favourite. Not too much – I know these buns are wild and stuff like fruit should be once in a blue moon. I saw a single rabbit bolt down a hole when she saw me. I left the apple outside the entrance. I said sorry to Lolly out loud, for so many things. I said goodbye.
The vet said that it could’ve been a congenital heart defect, or E-Cuniculi, and that they ran all their tests before the operation and Lolly was fine, if stressed. We thanked her and her team for doing their best for our girl. Might she have been less stressed if I hadn’t screwed up? I didn’t tell the vet about starving Lolly overnight. My wife was on the call too. Maybe I should – to help the vet? No, we are making our peace with it in our own ways, and I can’t risk disrupting that.
My baby is dead because of me. I love her so much and I’m so glad I knew her, but at the same time if somebody else had adopted her as a baby they might not have been an idiot like me and she might be alive today. I feel both at the same time. I hate myself, and I’m saying all this here because otherwise it might fall out of my mouth in front of my wife and I CANNOT do that because she’s making her peace with it in her own way and the food thing hasn’t come to mind for her. I will not put her through that. I can be redeemed only by love, and that would be unloving.
Darling Lolly, I love you so much. I miss you so much. I’m so sorry that I failed you. No matter what happens, you’ll always be Bun Number 1. You are irreplaceable. You, like me, are a child of nature. In a few days I can take your ashes home. We’re going to take a trip out of town, you and mama and me. We’re going to an English county that only we know, to a hill only we know, and we’ll say goodbye one last time and let you go. And it will always be Lolly’s Hill, and we will always love you.
Sleep tight Lollybun, Special Girl, Special Rabbit, Lollybum, Lollybumby. Sleep tight. We miss you, always. Sleep tight.
I’m here because of the loss of our 8 year old family German shepherd.
My parents were moving family home and it all happened very last minute. We couldn’t get him into his normal kennels, and so had to book him in to a new one – it had been recommended by another kennel and great reviews. We dropped him off on the Monday and we’re due to collect him on the Friday morning. Up until the Monday before we dropped him off there was a lot going on in the house, removing furniture, packing boxes etc, which I can only imagine how unsettling this was for him . He seemed to deal with this fine. He was then in the new kennel for the week so he didn’t have to be involved in the stress of moving day. The Friday morning an hour before we were due to pick him up , we got a call from the kennels saying they found him dead in his bed – our 8 year old boy, happy and healthy dead?! the kennel arranged the post mortem at the vets and it came back as a twisted stomach (bloat). Looking into this, it’s linked to diet, exercise and stress. I can only imagine if we hadn’t of left him at a new kennel or if we’d got him out of the stressful home environment sooner then maybe he would still be here…. What if we picked him up a day early? We could of done, we had unpacked most things by the Thursday he could of settled in with us then! I also look to at the kennel, did they exercise him to soon after eating/ was it a stressful kennel ? It’s our fault for choosing to leave him there.
All I know is there’s so many questions we all have at this sudden and shocking time, and we’re heartbroken he never came to his new home and that we weren’t there with him in his last hours. I feel like we’ve let him down, and we didn’t fully appreciate how stressful this situation may have been for him.
Hi everybody. I’m struggling with guilt after my 7 1/2 year old ferret, Ichabod, died yesterday. I feel guilt because of the circumstances that led to his death over the past 2 weeks. He was old with cataracts and a back leg injury that caused him to make a mess on himself whenever he would pee, and he stopped using the litter box a couple years ago as well.
I usually gave him a lot of exploring time in our old house, even though he made messes. I’d clean them up every day. We moved about 2 weeks ago and both my wife and I were stressed out about it all the time, so I didn’t give him much out time like I used to; maybe a total of 1 or 1 1/2 hours a day tops, and even then he would spend a chunk of that sleeping somewhere. Yesterday morning I heard him struggling and struggling to scratch through his cage and I just tried to ignore him even though I still felt really bad. I usually replace his water and give him vitamin paste before I go to work too, but I didn’t even do that.
I have a gut-wrenching feeling inside with so much regret from these last 2 weeks or so, even though I think I did good before all of this. I hate how it ended and am having an extremely difficult time shaking the feeling that I caused his death through neglect and that he died feeling lonely, trapped, unloved, thirsty, and abandoned on top of all of his physical health problems. I also had been neglecting to fully clean him up and bathe him since we were at this new place.
I am trying to get through this feeling so bad for him in his final hours when nobody was around and I don’t know what to do with that haunting thought. I really loved him, but I feel like I became so selfish amidst the stress in my life. I can’t just reassure him one last time and it’s so painful.
Any encouragement is appreciated. Thank you.
Jordan me and my husband have a similar experience. My husband feels more guilty and blames himself. How are you doing and how can you help us with advice
My baby Lucy was ran over I let her out unmonitored and got preoccupied with my granddaughter had I paid attention she would still be alive she was a beagle 3 yrs old first 2 years of her life had been spent in a small cage outside never getting love or attention so I took her so I could give her the life she deserved she slept with me every night always loving on me and she deserved to live a full happy life,I thought I was saving her but instead my carelessness took everything away from her I honestly hate myself for this.
I’m the reason my Hedgie died. She died at 4 years old because I neglected her. Her first year or two of life was full of adventure and love. But, I slowly started to neglect her more and more. Realizing she’s fine here and there without food and water. I stopped handling her. Honestly just forgot about her once I was home. Or deliberately made the decision to “do it tomorrow”. She always had food in her last year but, water was far between. I completely neglected her for over a month and I decided to finally go in and care for her and she was dead. Not just lifeless but, decaying. Her eyes were sunken into her skull. Teeth bared. Stiffening up. Completely dehydrated. Her cage was clean and she had food. I keep trying to find every excuse in the world for what I found but, I know she died because of my neglect. I don’t know how to cope with the immense guilt I have. I’ve been crying every single day since. I’m depressed. I can’t live with myself in this severe pain. And I wont take an ibuprofen to help my headaches because all I can think about is how she didn’t have the luxury of hydrating herself or deciding whether to live in a cage. I loved her so much. I really did and I know that’s probably hard to believe in reading this but, she was my baby. I got so tied up with my life and being selfish with my alone time. I even thought to myself about a month before about how I need to care for her better. She deserved better. I even considered rehoming her several times over because of the guilt and neglect. But, I didn’t. I was selfish and kept leaving it up to myself to get it right. The last time I went in her cage she looked okay but not great. I worried about her dying if I kept up with this. But still somehow I didn’t live up to my plans for her. I just kept planning these grand things for her future. She was such a beautiful sweet little creature with the quirkiest personality. It hurts so much more that I don’t even know exactly when she died and I couldn’t find her in her usual state. I found her decomposing. I don’t know how to accept this or go on with myself knowing I was capable of doing something like this. I’m hurting so bad but, it’s nothing compared to her life to being taken from her without option. I know she had a good time for half of her life but she should’ve lived much longer and she shouldn’t have died like that. I don’t know what else to say.
I’m here because last week my little 6 lb baby Zoey went out in the yard to do her potty before bed like always my husband is usually here and he goes out with both dogs but this time it was me i turned all the lights on and watched both dogs go out and everything seemed fine 10-15 minutes later i go looking for her i looked everywhere house rest of the yard and then i seen her in the pool drowned i immediately jump in to get her and laid her down and tried to give her cpr it didn’t work i was in a deep shock and I’m still so devastated i cant stop blaming myself on top of missing her so much we’ve had her for 14 years after the kids were gone and she was our baby so loyal and sweet she was a big part of our lives for so long.i dont know how i will ever get over the blame
I am here today because my sweet kitten Zoe died today. I was busy doing house work today and I briefly remembered her in the laundry room with me, but she always is so I didn’t think any more of it. I threw in a quick load of laundry, turned on the washer, and went about my other chores. Looking back on it I remembered my washing machine was louder than normal, but I didn’t think anything of it. As the day went on I realized I hadn’t seen Zoe in a while. I walked around the house calling her to no avail. Then I remembered she was with me in the laundry room and to my horror I found her in the washing machine. This is one of the worst things I have ever experienced. I feel so guilty for not checking the machine first and knowing she suffered. This last year we have lost our dog and another cat to illness and now our sweet kitten Zoe. The grief is overwhelming. You can never be too careful with our sweet pets. I only wish I could have done things differently and could be cuddling my girl instead of mourning for her and feeling this tremendous amount of guilt.
I seriously know i will get hate for this but I have to tell a soul the truth about this because i will have to keep it away from my family for life.
It was sunday , afternoon , I have 5 dogs , Im stupid.
After they all staying with me for a while in my bedroom , where I usually play games, we all go downstairs and I let them in the yard to play. I make myself confortable watching them and I notice something kinda annoying. I have 3 adult dogs and 2 pups , all yorkshires. Of the adults 2 are male, and there is a female puppy . What I notice was that both of them were trying to rape / compete for sex with the female puppy , they were fighting eachother and when I saw that I got really mad.
I dont hit my dogs , yet , since they’re not very trained, I yell at them when they are doing something stupid. That’s what I did , but instead of going to their dog houses both males stay paralised which I now understand they must’ve been scared .
If all of that was awfull to you this is the disgusting horrible part:
I try to push one of my dogs with my feet to his home , idk why , he wasn’t going by my command . It happens that instead of just tapping him in the ass and letting him go the rest of the way I accidentally use too much force and make him do a 180 around his leg and he falls on his back and head. He yells cryies imediatelly and I realise my mistake. I feel desesperate. I try to apologize to him but I notice that his head was fixed at his left side , so i think I may have broke something. I imediately take him to the vet , I say to the vet that he fell from the stairs and the vet does first aid and tells me to take him to the hospital , because he might have brain damage and he needs to stay under observation.
Now , for the last 3 days I have been visiting him and it turns out he cant walk properly . He twitches his back to the side and cant make curves without losing balance. I told all my family the same story I had told to the vet and I think I will have to probably carry this lie to the grave.
That action was probably the worst thing I’ve ever done in my life .
We have spent a lot of money so far trying to heal him but he might have problems for life .
I am feeling awfully guilty about this and I know I should. I basically kicked my dog to brain damage. I lied to my family and made them pay more than 1000$ in treatment for him till this day , and it seems it’ll be more if we want him to walk properly again.
Honestly I’ve considered ********* , I dont feel like there’s a way I could get rid of this guilt and live like before. I didnt even talk to my psychologist about it because more than being disonest i feel unhuman because of what i did to my dog. out of all my dogs , he was my favorite.
My 13 year old best friend was put down today.
I’ve loved her so much since she was a baby.
She’s Mum’s dog, but we are so close. I’ve always said her and Mum are who I love the most.
Mum had an accident and has been in hospital with a broken hip, so I’d been taking care of Muffin.
Muffin is on two kinds of medication for her heart and… I think I took on too big of walks during the day.
She stopped eating and her energy totally changed.
I took her to the vet and she was massively dehydrated.
She threw up blood everywhere. My mum and sister were on the phone and they told me to let her go.
I’ve had an unhealthy attachment to her for so long and have felt so guilty not being around her for a while. I actually didn’t want her at my place because of the responsibility. I thought she was quiet because she’s never stayed at another house before.
Her fails wags dimmed quickly.
A few days ago she was sick. I left it for the night and she seemed better the next day.
Today I could just see that something was off. I never expected her to get so bad so quickly. She was refusing food yesterday and it was hard giving her medication properly.
I shouldn’t have taken our during the heat. I let her go at her own pace and I still carried her. She seemed so full of energy. I’m such an idiot.
The vet says it’s not my fault and she has underlying issues. But I’m not that that stupid… I know I should have or could have acted quicker. I should have walked her during the cooler part of the day.
I just felt so bad that she was so bored at my place and alone when I had to work.
I deserve to feel this way. But it’s a horrible feeling. She was the sweetest dog. She never hurt anyone. Almost never Barked. She just wanted tummy rubs and she was happy
I wish I could trade places with her. She’s so amazing. Please bring her back :'( <\3
I am here because I am struggling deeply with the loss of my kitty, Yuki. A few years ago we had adopted a kitten named Ryuu. We had him for about a year before he became very sick while we were out of town. We came home and found him barely clinging to life. We rushed to the vet but it was too late. His death left a gapping hole in our hearts and it took us 3 years to finally be ready to make room for a new kitty. These last 12 months have brought on so much sadness for our family. We lost a friend to suicide, we lost family to COVID, we watched a neighbor’s house burn down with all of their fur babies inside. After dealing with so much sadness and heartache, we decided it was time for some light and went on the hunt for a new kitty. I spent months searching for the one that felt like ours and finally found him right before Christmas. We made a 7 hour round trip drive to pick him up. He was perfect! Truly the most beautiful creature I’ve ever laid eyes on. A tiny white ball of fluff, 2 different colored eyes and the most perfect heart shaped pink nose I’ve ever seen. I can’t tell you how many times a day I’d pick him up and kiss him repeatedly. He was irresistible… my own tiny slice of heaven on earth. We do have two dogs and another cat. The integration went well. Within a week, our older cat was taking naps and snuggling with our new baby. Our older dog, didn’t pay him any attention at all and our younger dog was curious and only wanted to play. Unfortunately, I misjudge how well integration was going, and 72 hours ago, our little kitty wandered to close while our older dog was eating and he snapped. I won’t go into details, but it was very traumatic, a moment in time that will likely haunt me for the rest of time. How could I put my sweet baby in harms way!? Why did I even adopt him in the first place? Surely he’d still be alive if I hadn’t. How will I ever be able to forgive myself? How will I ever be able to forgive my dog? These are all questions I’ve asked myself a thousand times in the days since. The anger, guilt and sadness feels like it will consume me at times. I wake up and go to bed crying. Life can be cruel. I don’t understand it at times. I know that my grief and pain is causing my husband and children more pain than they’re already experiencing so I know that I need to find a path forward bc I don’t want that for them. It’s just so hard. I can’t stop thinking about my sweet boy, dreaming that I could once again stuff my face into his fluffy fur and for one moment in the day all of my troubles would disappear. Dreaming that this never happened and that we’d still be together in 15-20 years. Dreaming that his little life wasn’t cut so incredibly short by my carelessness. I know it’s unhealthy and that blaming myself isn’t going to move me forward in my grief but it doesn’t feel fair for me to forgive myself and move on. I’m going to start by sharing my story so others do not make the same mistakes I did. Maybe I can save another kitty out there somewhere in Yuki’s name. So if you have dogs, even if they have lived with other pets, please keep your new pet separated at all times during feedings. All it takes is one instance where things can go tragically wrong! I’m truly sorry for those of you who are experiencing the same level of grief, blame, anger, guilt and sadness that I am. This might be the single worse thing I’ve gone through in life. All we can do is try to educate others so that they don’t make the same mistakes in an effort to do something positive in our pet’s honor. My heart is with all of you. One day at a time. Be kind to yourselves.
We just lost our 13 year old Yorkie and we thought we would start the new year with a new addition to the family. We brought home a little Angel teacup Yorkie. 1 lbs and 10 oz. We named her Emie. Love at first site. Shortly after she arrived, I came down with Covid. She was by my side the whole time. In seven days she won over my husband, kids and myself. The sweetest little girl. I fed on the counter like I did my other Yorkie. She had done well with this. And it kept my other dogs from getting in her food. I turned to take a bite of my soup and I her a thud. She fell, still don’t know how or why but it broke her neck. This is all my fault. Trying to keep her safe, actually put her in harms way and I have to live with this along with the pain and grief I caused myself and my family. Absolutely heartbroken. Rest In Peace my perfect Angel. I love you so much!
My cat died because I was selfish. I adopted my sweet baby boy Cerberus at 3 months old. He passed at 2 and a half because of me.
I’m a truck driver…a rookie. And I decided to take my cat on the road with me. I knew he hated car rides because he’d cry but I thought having more space and his toys and stuff to remind him from home he’d be okay. It was the first day having him on the road and of course, he was crying, scared. He laid by my feet and i know he shouldn’t have been but he was calming down. He was half under the seat and didnt think anything of it. I had to go to the bathroom really bad. Holding myself. I saw a rest area and quickly parked and got up to get my jacket. That’s when I heard him really cry. Right away I saw him stuck under my seat. I quickly got up and tried pulling him and lifting the seat. I couldn’t see how he was stuck. I tried honking the horn to get another truck drivers attention. Nothing. I ran over there and knocked on his window. He shook his head no at me so i ran back to my baby and tried again. I quickly called 911 and 6 or 7 minutes later highway patrol got there. I was eventually able to see how he was stuck. His head was between two bars. The officer tried pulling the seat.. Nothing. I tried pushing my cats head out but didnt want to hurt him. Eventually another highway patrol officer showed up and they again tried lifting the seat off. Well getting the seat off wasn’t the problem. It was the 2 bars attached to it. So when they tried pulling the seat it suffocated my baby and he didn’t make it. 10 mins or so later they got him free but all i saw was his dead eyes and bloody mouth and claws (he was ripping his nails off trying to free himself). I saw his last minute when he peed and pooped himself. I saw his body go lifeless. This happened on new years Eve. 3 days later im filled with guilt because I could have gotten more help from people at the rest area. I could have tried to push his head out harder. I could have moved his head and neck when I saw lifting the chair was hurting him. I could have not been selfish and just left him home! I could have tried cpr since theres a chance at 15 mins I could have gotten him to breathe again. Highway patrol should have somehow got something to cut through the metal or got someone who could! I should have grabbed him from under my seat before i got up or moved him when i saw him under my seat. All i can think of is i killed my baby. All i can think of is when I was a drunk I was abusive to him. I never done anything to him after getting sober but I still did what i did in the past. I feel so much guilt that i killed him and I’m so so sorry for everything. I’m just really afraid he hates me for the abuse previously. I’m afraid he hates me for not trying harder cause there was so many things I could and should have done. He was my baby. My first pet and to lose him at 2 years old, im heart broken and guilty because I’m at fault.
My axolotl (type of salamander) died earlier today and it was my fault. Last month I was going through a hard time at work and personally and I neglected her care. I eventually noticed that she wasn’t eating and looked sick, the gills around her face were receding. For a few weeks I tried to help her heal. These last couple days I thought she was doing better. The worst part is I didn’t know it was still that serious, I didn’t think she was in danger of dying anymore.
She had a adorable little perma-smile, as most axolotls do and beautiful red frills.
Thank you for sharing everyone.
My 7 month kitten died because of me. I took him out of his comfort zone. Since last two three days he would stair at the the door, try to go out alone and taking that in mind I thought of taking him outside for 5 mins. We live in an apartment at 14th floor. I knew he was scared of people, elevator but I still tried to take him from the elevator. He ran away and stood in front of the entrance. But I took him back again to the elevator this time he ran so fast and hard he when to the service pipeline area. I didn’t see him so I called out for him, he called out for me and he his voice while calling made me cry and panic. I couldn’t reach out. I couldn’t catch him. K thought of going a floor downstairs but I was afraid if I looked away he might fall. He couldn’t stand on such a narrow space. He looked at me while asking for help I couldn’t reach him, I couldn’t help him. He fell down or he jumped I don’t remember correctly. All I know is he fell down. While I couldn’t do anything. We rushed to the hospitals but they were closed. Talk about timings. Some time later I found out If only I could have went downstairs I could have gotten hold of him. I could have saved him. He could have been saved.
I shouldn’t have taken him out. I should have put on the belt inside rather than being lazy and thinking of putting it in the elevator.
I should have just returned home when he stood there at the entrance. He died because of him so fearfully. I remember his voice and face. How he cried for help when I couldn’t do anything. He must be hating me for not helping him. He must be hating me for getting him out of his comfort zone. He must be hating me for giving him such death. I shouldn’t have taken him outside. I didn’t try enough to save him. It wasn’t enough. He died because of me. And I couldn’t save him. I loved him a lot. I want him back. His traces are everywhere,in every corner. He reminds me of his everything. The scene haunts me. It keeps popping up..his voice, his face at the time when he cried for help. He died because of me. I should have just returned home. Because of me…he died. Because I took him out.
My hamster was missing for 24 hours
Usually when she gets free, she always comes back a few hours later. I left out food and kept checking but it was untouched. I knew something was wrong. I cried a whole roll of toilet paper and asked god to tell me where she is, and my head turned to the right, where the sump pump in the floor is. I looked and saw something in there. I put a on a glove and pulled it out. It was my hamster.
She always been so sweet and loving to me, she didn’t deserve to die that way. I build her a toilet paper tube tunnel fort and she loved it in there. But one of the tubes came out of a box and that’s how she escaped. If only I had checked to make sure. If only the sump pump had been covered. I feel horrible. If only I had been in the basement, I would have heard her squealing for me to help her. She was the only friend I had left. My cat died a few months ago from kidney failure. I have really bad depression so I’ve told myself I have to stay alive for my cat and my hamster. But then my cat died and now my hamster is gone and it’s my fault for not making sure the fort was secure, the pump was covered, and I wasn’t there to save her.
She’d get so excited when she’s hear my voice, and she’s lick my finger, I didn’t think hamsters could care about a human so much.
I’m so sorry bibble. I wish I had saved you. I wish I could go back in time. I’m so sorry you had to go that way. I hope you are my cat are happy in heaven. I miss you 💔
I feel so sick with grief and that it’s my fault my cat died. She was such a good cat and there’s an empty space in my heart without her. We went away on 4night break and on the day we were due to return, we got a phone call that our cat Bella had got wedged in our tilt and turn window and was dead upon the cat sitters visit at around mid-day that day. I had said before we went away to leave the bathroom window tilted open because I had observed our other cat Cleo so artfully scramble her way up the window on many occasions to let herself in. And she is more of a house cat. She’s always crazing to come indoors after short spells outside. Due to this I felt it best we left it open to avoid her being stuck outside without the option to let herself in. Our other cat (the one whose died) is more of an outdoor cat and very self reliant with a strong hunter instinct. I’d worry less about her cos she always kept herself to herself and was a very low maintenance. She preferred to be left to her own devices and not a lot of fussing. But bless her heart she was such a good cat, always letting Cleo eat before her and so patient and would do all her business outside and never craze for anything. But by requesting the window be left open I put the cats in harms way as I hadn’t realized the danger of one of them getting trapped in there and it being life threatening. But as I said, Cleo had always managed it and as for Bella – she would always wait to be let in or out as she was always so patient. But I feel terrible because I know how much she likes to get outside and I suppose with her being let indoors overnight by the sitter and also she may have been wanting to get out to do her business or go on the prowl and with no one present to let her get out she attempted to go out by herself and got trapped, leading to her death. And I was so dumb to think I could even leave it open as an access point because it’s such a narrow gap to squeeze through. I should have insisted they remain closed and they’d have to be out or in regardless of whether it was against their intentions. But I had tried to take measures to ensure they we well cared for – even asking the neighbour to keep an eye out for whether they wanted letting in or out and giving her a key. But our sitter was round for a few hours at time that the neighbour felt they were being well cared for and it seems she didn’t check in with them too much. But I don’t blame her neither, since it’s COVID and I think she was also wary of going in at times when our sitter was already intending to. But I on the other hand should have known that it wasn’t safe to leave that window open. And I overlooked the threat that it could pose. My mind was distracted and I just feel I could have made contact with the neighbour more and asked about them while we were away. And it just feels it could so easily have been avoided. Even if I had made it clearer when I wanted them going in, as like I said I know Bella loves the out doors and I shouldn’t have underestimated her desire to get out. But also, the sitter said she was still warm when they found her so it was likely that morning and not during the night. And I could have asked that the neighbour go in morning and night just to double check they weren’t wanted to be in or out. It’s just so sad and I hate to think how long she was in there stuck and struggling and suffering. I will miss her for a long long time and this will be hard for me to live with.
I’ve read these post and I can tell you all genuinely LOVED your pets. I believe I am the worst of all of these. I brought my daughter Guineapig. She needed an companion that she could cuddle alot. We moved away from the city over a yr ago but due to the pandemic my daughter and I havent made and connections. She needed something to love. So we got the pig in july I got a cage and food and water…I taught my kid how to handle it so I didnt have to be bothered. After I basically prepared her casket. I stupidly placed her on the LIVING ROOM floor. There had to be drafts coming from every where! Tr he vents, windows, a/c, door…if only I read the damn pamphlet! It would have took like 3 mins. Or watched 1 you tune video I could have made simple adjustments to spare her life or extend it.Poor baby.😞
The worst part ..yes there is a worse part. My poor 7yr old daughter found her best friend dead. We all really just got use to “Gwen” and she seemed to like us. Seeming eager for playtime or maybe she was trying to get away from this crazy women who was mistreating her.
I gave my daughter a friend and took her away in ONLY 2 months. Gwen was depending on me to care for her looking back maybe she was tryna tell me something maybe if I had of took a small amount of time to make sure she had what she needed she could be here eating hay living life. Instead of dying cold and alone. And I completely scared my kid ! Life is very busy but when I think about the time I could have taken to ensure her safely. I feel like an idiot for not doing it. Life us precious no matter how small..if I could go back just a few days I would appreciate gwen a lil more and give her what she needed.
Two people are responsible for my cat’s death, the veterinarian and as a result of her incompetence subsequently myself. My 15 year old cat, my best friend, my child even, was fairly healthy, being treated for hyperthyroidism. She saw the vet every year. Her visit last November left me feeling good as long as her hyperthyroidism was under control. I saw her slowing down in the last 6 months. Her hair was turning grayer, she didn’t play as much, she was very needy of my love and attention. I chalked it up to age. There was nothing alarming although I noticed she was getting a little stiff in her legs and figured it was arthritis. I intended to take her to the vet “soon” regarding the legs and for thyroid re-check since her appetite was increasing. The day before she died she was very active and verbal, wanting even more affection than usual. It wasn’t alarming but she was definitely more active than usual. I chose to sleep with her that night instead of my boyfriend. At 6 am she woke me up vomiting. It wasn’t a far fetched thing as she would vomit hairballs a few times a week but there was no hair. After I cleaned it she was dry heaving again, then began to stagger and breathe very rapidly. I was alarmed and told my boyfriend something is wrong. I never saw her with that ununsteadiness, rapid breathing, or weakness. She laid down but refused to get up and appeared suddenly lethargic. I called my vet to see if they could see her and they said yes. I loaded her in the carrier and had to drop her off. I was not allowed to go inside due to Covid. The woman told me to call by 1pm if I had not heard from them. I hated to leave her in such an anxiety provoking situation but this was abnormal for her so I drove away and felt confident I’d have an answer at 1. I did not hear from them, I called, blood was drawn but was not reviewed yet and the doctor did not examine her yet. I was a bit annoyed about it because I felt like this was quite pressing, but maybe she improved? Or perhaps they knew something i didn’t, so I continued waiting. I finally got a call back after 3 from the vet. She explained my Buttercup had new onset diabetes with a sugar of 330 and hypertension. I was a bit surprised and felt sorry for her but confident this could be treated and she would feel better. The vet recommended she stay overnight to be monitored after receiving insulin with the hope that would improve her unsteadiness. I explained that she is a nervous cat and had concerns about putting that added stress on her. I told her I can easily observe her for improvement. She said I would have to administer insulin and hypertension meds daily. This was no issue for me. I asked if I could pick her up right before closing (totally assuming they would treat the sugar and hypertension with the extra time while having some time to observe). This didn’t happen. When I picked her up at 530 and asked if the meds were given I was told no. I found this quite concerning as her glucose level and hypertension were the 2 most pressing issues that we were aware of. Instead she was given .3L of fluid right before leaving and an antiemetic even though she had not vomited since morning. I didn’t understand the rationale. They gave me the medications and we went home. She had her usual awareness, a few meows in protest of the day. We arrived home and she ate and drank. I administered her 1 unit of Insulin and gave the first dose of Enalipril. I noticed there was still some unsteadiness in her back legs, but she walked up the stairs herself and lay down in her bed. She had a long day and I felt she probably needed rest. I observed her for 35 minutes to be sure she was tolerating the new meds, and I went for a walk to the lake to allow her some rest. I took a couple of pics of her which is not unusual as I have over 1,000! I was at the lake for about 35 min. When I walked in the door I found it odd that my other cat was sitting up at the edge of the couch nearest the door as though he’d been waiting. I called out for buttercup and did not spot her where I left her, when I looked over at Mr.Bing, his eyes moved to the floor behind him and it frightened me. Low and behold, there she was. Collapsed, hyperventilating, tongue hanging out of her mouth, but with eyes open. I immediately picked her up. She was very warm which led me to believe this didn’t just happen. I ran in front of the AC to cool her down but realized I’d rather lay her down and look her over. On my way to the bedroom I felt her go limp. I quickly laid her on the bed and realized she wasn’t breathing. I checked her pulse and there was nothing. I ran to the kitchen got maple syrup, rubbed it all over her gums and immediately started cpr right after. I thought if this was hypoglycemia the sugar would help. For rescue breaths I put her nose and mouth inside of my mouth and noted good chest rise. I did fast chest compressions but retrospectively I should’ve done them faster since a cat’s resting heart rate is faster than a humans. The next 3 hours are jumbled bits of hysteria, trauma, tears, and aggressive attempt to save my baby, who I thought was in fairly good health for a senior cat. There was nothing to lead me to believe that she had any serious underlying disease. Given that I could hear the fluid in her lungs, I surmised she was in congestive heart failure since the vet gave her aggressive fluids WITHOUT treating her hypertension at the office. It was not until I requested her records after the fact that I realized she had severe hypertension that day. Fluids were the last thing she needed. So given that I believed the arrest was the result of these fluids and the stress surrounding the day, I continued aggressive cpr. I noticed if I stopped, she would go limp, and was not breathing on her own or with a pulse. She seemed to have some level of “coming to” when I would resume cpr. She soiled herself at the onset and at one point I put my finger in her throat to check for foreign body and she subsequently bit down quite hard. We were surrounded in blood, tears, urine, feces, and saliva. A good amount of fluids came up with rescue breaths. During the ordeal I made several phone calls. I asked my vet if someone would come to the home to assist me. She said not with Covid. She gave me the number of a hospital 90 mins away. I couldn’t drive. I was alone, doing active cpr. I phoned another hospital 25 mins away, they could see her, but again, my hands were tied trying to save her. After an hour 45 mins, she regained spontaneous circulation but was not breathing well. I continued with rescue breathing. After some moments she appeared more lucid. I was begging her not to leave me, mind you, and when I saw she was lucid I sung her favorite song to her. She then began to have spasms of her extremities. Not long after she appeared to regain respiratory function, retrospectively I do not believe the respirations were adequate given her outcome but at the time I saw the chest rise and was hopeful. She blinked at me for the last time. Her eyes were fixed open, her jaw clenched, front limbs fixed straight, back limbs “running” movement. I realized she was having a neurological event. I never saw seizure activity in an animal before. I grew more concerned and wondered now if I did more harm than good. I did not know what to do with her in this condition. I knew this was a very bad sign. I was crying, exhausted, my adrenaline teetering. I decided to observe her and after 30 minutes of activity I realized the hope I had in resuscitation was followed now with despair. I brought her back for her to suffer. I felt awful. I decided to lie in bed and put her on my chest and comfort her as best I could until she passed. When I moved her onto my chest she started having violent spasms and flung herself off of me. Her pupils were completely dilated, muscles twitching, then she appeared contracted and unbeknownst to me at the time was entering a much more violent seizure. She looked like she had rabies. The involuntary movements were violent, she vocalized in a way ive never heard that sounded like complete pain. I knew she was experiencing something very painful and neurological. I think the parasympathetic nervous system was going haywire. Then she began to growl and puff out and “fight” the bed. This was nearing hour 3. I became frightened for myself and felt agony for her suffering. I wanted to end her suffering. I couldn’t bear to witness this. It was all so unexpected. In that moment I made a decision I thought was best for her. I had to kill my cat. I almost signed myself in to a psychiatric facility that first week. I sent her for necropsy because I needed answers. Her head was not available as I had her tested for rabies. It seemed far fetch but a skunk was living under my home at the time. I was so traumatized I was thinking it could be anything. The necrposy showed severe heart disease and thyroid hyperplasia and adenomas, moderate kidney disease, vascular changes and lung damage consistent with hypertension. Upon review of my vet visit from last year I realized that the findings the doctor reported to me did not match what she told me. She said the urine was normal yet it showed blood and protein. She said she was probably starting to have some kidney failure but that was because of her increasing thyroid level, so we increased the meds. She heart a 1/6 heart murmur but said that’s not unusual for her with the hyperthyroidism. I never left that visit thinking any real serious organ damage was happening, nor was I told to look for “warning signs” of anything at all. I saw improvement on the increased dose. In her notes she wrote will start pt on Enalipril in the “near future”. This never happened nor do I recall any discussion of hypertension.
The bottom line is that my vet missed these disease processes that there was evidence for. She failed to alert me to any seriousness of condition. I simply believed if she was on the right dose of her medicine, that she would be ok.
Had the vet seen her in a timely manner that day, she could’ve gotten the hypertension under control. Instead she was pumped with fluids with subsequent chf and arrest. I understand I would not have had much time with her, had the fluids not been given, but AT LEAST me and Buttercup would’ve been spared the trauma. Had she been a good vet, more emphasis would’ve been put on potential disease processes and what I should look for. My cat suffered unnecessarily for quite sometime. This vet missed red flags during routine care as well as on the last day.
I am devastated. I cannot describe the horror of what I’m feeling. I’m finding it increasingly difficult to live with my final decision. I wish I could get justice for Buttercup and for myself. None of it would have happened if the vet was not so complacent and careless.
I cry every day, a deep guttural, painful cry. I’m wracked with guilt and regret and anger. I felt I was forced into a position to have to kill the thing I loved the most in the world and my mind has yet to figure a way to live with it and my fear is that I cannot.
I love you baby girl.
I killed my beloved pup by putting Bravecto anti flea and tick drops on him. He died not even after 3 days. I never even do treatments each year but had to go in the countryside so thought it was useful. It was the first time I used that medicine (drops) and I usually research a lot before giving anything to my dog. I hadnt this time. He died!! He even rebelled when I put it on him!! I learned that they initiated a class action in US and Canada against the company coz many dogs died or has major secondary effects and FDA keeps adding secondary effects. The guilt of having killed my dog who trusted me. The bundle of love he was just breaks my heart in tiny pieces. Not sure I’ll ever be able to forgive myself.
Hey, I just feel if this can help someone cope that they are not alone then why not. My mom took in a baby bird that was removed from her nest because some people chopped down the tree she was in. My goal was to rehabilitate the little bird to go back outside (I had asked my mom to take her to a specialist but it was a four hour drive she didn’t want to make and I can’t drive yet.) So everyday I would do my best to get her used to the outside, take her out and let her bathe in water. She was getting too use to living with us and I knew it, yet I still wanted to see her fly free.
After three months of these outings being safe with her never flying too far from me I sarted to get too comfortable…. and I moved my outside chair closer to her who I let out of the cage already and bam- she got frightened and flew up a short tree. Terrified I asked my sister to help catch her but she was too far to reach and she wasn’t listening to our calls. She was also terrified of the ground and I hadn’t taught her enough to survive alone. (Though her birds are native to where I live.) after a lot of back and forth we tried to get her to land with water from the hose (not a smart move.) she then flew to another tree higher and then another even higher…. my mom insisted she could survive out now and I couldn’t stay outside forever. (Yuma az degree is 110.) but the guilt kept eating me up as I KNEW she wasn’t ready yet. So for the next two days with an excessive heat warning in place I looked everywhere and called out as best I could without irritating any neighbors, I placed her cage out with food and water and rattled her bell she loved everywhere. There was one part of the road in the neighborhood that I was hesitant to enter as there were unpleasant people living there so I would only quickly scan the area for my Sofie bird. Then, on the third day I couldn’t take it anymore and I went down that street- and there she was, dead on the ground. She was run over by one of the neighbors that revs their car faster than he should and I had heard it from my house. I picked her up and took her to my family hoping they would say it wasn’t her body but it was. The guilt has been eating me up, if I hadn’t been so confident she’d stay, if I’d just not taken her out, if I’d tried harder to get to her in time, if I’d just gone into that part of the neighborhood I’d neglected she might have come to me. I want to cry, I want to scream and hate myself but I’m also just so numb. If this helps anyone cope than I’ll be happy 😞 please rest in love my Sophie birdie.
I lost my dog a week ago she had a tumor that had ulcerated as well as other things going on . She was 15 years old very tired . Am so guilty over it all its killing me . This year we found a small lump and I said we need to keep an eye on that . Then a few months later we started to notice blood on her that’s when we notice that it had got bigger and ulcerated. We took her to the vet who said her lymph node was enlarged and look liked it had spread . We had 2 choices one to let her have surgery or have her put to sleep . We didnt want any more pain for her so we let her go . I feel terrible over this I just keeping thinking why didnt I take her when I first seen the lump . Am feeling so much guilt and grieve over her . I loved her so much
I lost my talking bird just 3 days ago and i blame myself for her death. It was wednesday when she started to be innactive but not that lethargic, she knida lost her appetite and only eat and drink a little, i gave her fruits instead of pellets for her to swallow the food easily. I can’t sleep i’m scared that what if the next day i wake up and she’s dead. Time to time i check her to know of how she’s doing. The next day she seemed to be ok to me, i know that i needed to bring her to the vet but it’s too late the next morning i wake up and she’s already lying on the edge of cage but still breathing i googled the contact number of the nearest 24 hours vet clinic from our house to rush her there but only to find out that the clinic was temporarily close due to this pandemic and the other nearest vet clinic in our house was not 24 hours and bringing you pet there is through having an appointment with them. After one hour she lost her breath she died i’m so dumb i should have taken her to the vet earlier i should have taken an appointment to the vet the day i found out she lost her appetite so that the next day i can bring her to the vet 😭😭😭. She’s 11 years old and i feel so useless i should have done it earlier i feel like i did not do anything for her i’m so dumb i can’t stop crying i’m tired of crying day and night but i can’t help myself to cry the pain in my chest was unbearable i can’t stop blaming myself for what happened. I hope i can turn back the time i should have bring her to the vet earlier i can’t stop asking myself what if i bring her to the vet earlier? will she able to survive? If only i brought her earlier to the vet earlier she won’t die she died because of my dumbness😭😭😭. She’s the one who usually make noises in our house. Now without her presence our home was now filled with silence 😭😭😭😭😭😭.
I feel so sad and angry with myself. I did not even think about having my cats teeth checked. She was 13.5 years old and just died on Wednesday of septis which was caused by gum disease, an abcess on her gum due to a cracked tooth. I really hate myself. I thought when she was 10 to take her for an check up for general health but didn’t. It didn’t seem that important and now I realise she was suffering, in pain. I feel like I was neglectful of her and took her for granted. My poor darling Pixie she was in so much pain and it felt like she was crying out no no when I picked her up to put in the basket to go to vet. I am haunted by it. Luckily the vet made the decision to put to rest as soon as she saw her so she didn’t have to suffer any longer. My heart is broken.
Just over a week ago, I found a stray cat with a horrible infected wound on its face and one eye. My husband help me catch her and the next day we took her to the vet. We found out she was about 14 years old, had no teeth, was blind in the other eye as well, and only weighed about 3lbs. The doc gave her a shot of antibiotic and we brought her back home. She had been eating and drinking well but the wound on her face wasn’t healing – it was always bloody and raw. So a couple of days ago, I put an e collar on her to prevent her from digging at it. I watched her eat and drink to be sure that wasn’t an issue. The day before yesterday, I noticed she was stepping in her water and getting in the litter box. There was litter caked on her feet and also in the water dish. I wasn’t sure why that was happening but I got her some fresh water and cleaned up her feet. Then yesterday morning, when I checked on her, she was so lethargic I knew something was wrong. As I held her and tried to decide what to do, I thought she had died in my arms and my husband started to dig her a grave. But then she moved very slightly so we decided to take her to the emergency room. They told us she was dehydrated and her heart rate was very low. The doc also said that it would be a very long and expensive road to try to get her well (including the severe wound on her face) and that even then her prognosis was considered “guarded” at best. I decided at her age not to put her little body through all that and chose euthanasia instead. The doctor fully supported me in that decision. I held her in my arms and petted her head while it was done. Now, I’m looking back on everything and it has dawned on me that, for some reason or another, she probably was dehydrated because she couldn’t drink after I put the e collar on her. And even though I had seen her do it, it somehow was getting in her way. She was trying to tell me what the problem was by stepping in the water with her feet. I blame myself because I should have known. I can’t believe I was so stupid not to see it. In my effort to protect the wound and let it heal, I caused her another, more serious, problem. And now I blame myself for choosing euthanasia. I wish I had asked them to give her IV fluids and keep her a few days to see if she bounced back. Then I could worry about the rest of her recovery (and cost of it) later. This is hitting me so hard. I wanted so much to save her and give her all the love she hadn’t had until the day I found her. I don’t know how to get past this and forgive myself.
It’s all my fault. I didn’t think my friends dog would viciously kill my beloved baby girl “Raiderette” I knew they would not be best friends but this dog mauled my baby and I couldn’t stop it. She suffered because of me. Her eyes were bleeding and she was gasping for air. I finally got her when people helped get the pitbull off she died within minutes. I miss her so and it’s my fault. I needed to get a creep away he kept coming to my house and throwing rocks at window or banging on the door, my neighbors complained too. The manager 86 him. My friend said take “Honey” home for the night. The dog wasnt even in my house 5min and it was over my baby girl was dead. I know she hates me. I can’t live in this house anymore, I threw out everything. I held her she made barely any sounds. I will never forget or be able to get the attack out of my head. I don’t know what to do.
Yvonne in memory of Siamese cat Raiderette
Have the dog put down. It is dangerous.
Update on my Florio: I’m feeling a little less guilty after reading the vet papers. It turns out he had a tumor for about three years that was never discovered during checkups. He died at 10 and a half and was otherwise a healthy and strong cat. They also said that even we had got him in earlier it wouldn’t have made any difference because there was an almost one hundred percent chance he would die during surgery. Florio waited for me to come down and pick him up from where he was sleeping by mom and died in my arms an hour later. To clarify the reason I’m so worried about his sister dying of grief is because my grandmother had three cats. One, named Pronto, broke his back and had to be put down. His brother Duffy got very depressed and died a month later of a heart attack. However, Duffy was also reclusive and not particularly people oriented. Thankfully, Hannah (Florio’s sister) is both a lovebug and an attention hog. She is also strong and healthy and has a younger cat named Fern to keep her active. Fern tries to play with her; they’re working out a dynamic. By the time Pronto died, old Babs, the third cat, didn’t do much more than sleep so Duffy had no cat to rely on. Hopefully, we can help Hannah through as she is already quite clingy now.
My cat Florio died in my arms this morning of cancer. But he’d been losing weight in the autumn and I should have noticed, not put it down to his stress issues in the past. I should have bent my parents arms into getting him into the vet sooner when he might have had a chance at being operated on. I feel like I failed him and he trusted me; he was like my little brother that I couldn’t have. And if his sister dies it’ll be my fault.
My one year old cat ( Single Dot)died two days before ( Tuesday :03.12.3019). He was very attached and dependable cat compared to my other cats. He always wanted affection of us over other fellow cats, therefore alwys he spent the time with us. While I was cooking, sleeping, sweeping, when im going to tje terrace he was always with me. He was fond of eating lot specilly fish and meat.
He was physically not much active and several times got sick and weak. We treated him twice through the vet and sometimes with home remedies and sometime he recovered after one or two days of getting sick.
I have 3 cats and one of the other cats was sick during last week and I gave him specilly whatever he likes to encouraged him to eat. The other cat came to normal. But during that time Single Dot also ate lot.
On Monday Single Dot refused food but quite normal but evening he was not okay. Monday night could not find him in the home or garden. Tuesday morning also he didnt come to our room and I found that he was sitting near the neighborhood garden. I carried him to the home and tried to feed but he refused. I assumed that he would be better after sometime and decided to give him sometime to recover from his problem. I time to time visited him and gave some water using syringe. But there was no progress until 4.00pm then I wanted to go the Vet. But I didnt have enough courage to do it becuase I was dealing with severe hurt and anxiety on the same day. I have had brushed or showred or havent had my lunch.
However, at 4.15 Single Dot started to breath heavily After vomiting and I called my husband to go to the vet. We didnt have a personal vehicle , my phone also off. I was so weak with my hurtful day. I didnt know what to do stayed until my husband come. Sadly at 5pm Single Dot left me infront of me. I feel terribly guilt and sad because I assumed he died by over eating during last week and also i didnt not take immediate action. I told the story to the Vet after his death and she told me l, my cat died within 2days of sick and probably he may have eaten some poison.
Anyhow im struggling my beloved kid had gone away from me. Im spending more times with my other two cats while comforting them. They may also feeling the loss of my other cat. Im very sad, cant justify my behavior during his death , I miss his presence. When im getting up in the morning my first thought is loss of my Single Dot. I Love Him soo much.
I lost my 3 year shih tzu on Thursday. She was my shadow and adored me, she would be looking out the window after me when I’d go to work and i could hear her jumping on the inside of the door when i would insert the key every evening. She slept beside me in bed and sometimes on my pillow. If she jumped off the bed at night and i noticed I’d tell her to hop up and she’d jump back up beside me. She died because she had to have surgery to remove some of her colon and she got an infection gone the following morning. She ate something in the house I feel so guilty for not protecting her from whatever got stuck in her tummy, i knew she liked to pull at her towels and bedding but at 3 years I didn’t realize it was unsafe – I should have known better, I should have taken all the soft bedding away from her. I have this weird feeling in my tummy since it happened and I can’t stop crying. That little dog trusted me to look after her and i let her down so so badly.
On Thursday at 6.45 pm I accidentally backed over our beautiful family cat Bella, 16 years old. I heard a thump and I immediately knew what must have happened. I felt sick as I saw her run off. I went after her as she collapsed to the ground. I picked her up hoping she would be okay but it was obvious she wasn’t. I screamed for my husband who came out and held her. He said “she’s going love”. I screamed the neighbourhood down. One by one our four adult children who grew up with her and loved her so much came home. It was heartbreaking as they cried for losing Bella but at the same time telling me it wasn’t my fault. I can’t shake the guilt as I have a reversing camera but at the time I was focussed on the wing mirrors as I was coming out of the garage. She was going deaf and could have been already lying on the driveway. I feel I could have prevented it. I feel sick when I think about it and how she passed in my husband’s arms. If I feel like this, then I can only imagine how people feel when children are involved. Thank you for listening!
My first pet snow a beautiful white cat my friend gave me. He’s with me for 7 months i still remember the day i got him he was a cute kitten but was very afraid slowly he learned his name and so many things I’d everything to keep him well. Yesterday he died and i feel very guilty because i have to admit that i didn’t bother vaccinating him which was my primary duty with everything going in my daily life i meglected it. On october i shifted from city to village because i lost my job. Snow loved to sleep a lot and 12/11/19 he slept whole day like usual so i didn’t really check i called him to eat but he kept sleeping that particular day was a cold one so i thought he was feeling cold and left him to sleep in blanket(i should have taken him to a vet another regret).That night i called him for dinner he refused to eat so i made his bed and make him sleep. Another guilt i didnt let him sleep with me in my bed instead i made his bed near me and the next morning at 4:30am i heard him make sound i checked and he took his last breath i cried till 8am then finally burried him it was the most painful moment of my life he was stiff cold my baby …i dont know anything but i miss him i love him and i regret what i did. I don’t know if he will forgive me because he was too young to die i wish he was left with his family because i couldn’t become a good parent to him i couldn’t protect him.. im a bad person really there’s no one to talk to about my pain.My guilt confession if i were more responsible he would still be alive and this very thought makes me feel guilty. He lost his life because of me .
As I have read through many of your heartbreaking stories with tears in my eyes, I am going to share mine. 2 days ago I thought I had a healthy 5 year old beagle mix named Pima. I rescued him as a pup running down a busy road with 3 other pups with him. I am not much a dog person at all, but cat lover instead. I knew I couldn’t keep them so I started searching for homes. Noone would take them. Found a no kill rescue that said bring them over. I was so excited. They took 3 but would not take the 4th one. They looked him over and said he was so sickly and he looked like death warmed over. Then I decided to take him to my vet to put him to sleep instead. Well, I got a big awaking from my vet he told me hes your dog now and let’s treat him and get him better…and I brought him home. Hes had some immune problems that we got basically under control and next step was housing for him. The 3 cats in my home wasn’t having him in thier safe space. I ordered a 20×10 special order kennel and bought a igloo home for him, enclosed part of it to cover his home as well. He seemed happy and comfortable for all these years and let him out on his lead to play in the grass/roll basically to get him off the concrete from time to time. I walked with him to the barn area also on occasions. I am fixing to tell you my guilt while I am crying and hating on myself right now. I run 2 businesses and I feel I have not taken the needed time to love on this absolutely sweet dog God gave me…and 2 days ago I was running a fever of 102 up til today. I have been sick for several weeks now and had not given him much attention…but he seemed like he knew I was sick and was still happy to see me even he wasn’t getting out of the kennel like normal. Yesterday I went to go feed/water him and he was just sitting there, vomit and black diarrhea in his pen. I got the water hose and cleaned it up and found some in his house. I washed it all out and and lined it with bath towels. I was so sick yesterday I said to myself I will take us both to doctors tomorrow morning. Well that was too late for him. I cant describe the guitlyness I am feeling right now for leaving him alone and died. He was such a gentle dog and I let him down. I dont think I will ever get over this. I am so sorry I didn’t bring him in. I hope God will forgive me and my precious dog named Pima. Love you and may we meet again.
I just lost my Tiny, and it was my fault, in multiple ways. Tiny was a male housecat, 9 yrs old, neutered, with a very tiny little white patch on his chest. He was the smallest of his litter, and also the noisiest. He was patient, sweet, loving, loyal, and had a load of personality. He loved catnip and his scratching post. He was also a master hunter. He loved being outside, and would bring home anything from full grown rabbits to little bitty chipmunks. He also was prone to disappearing for days at a time, sometimes more than a week. He did it so many times over the years that my wife and I just got used to it, and took it for granted that he would always come back safe. Recently we adopted 2 new kittens. It wasnt the first time we brought a new animal into the house, and my wife and I both knew Tiny would be grouchy about it. We also knew he would eventually come around and even love our new family members. It was my idea to bring in the cats, and I knew my wife would go for it. We are both animal lovers, after all. We fought hard to keep Tiny inside the first couple weeks. We didn’t want him to lose our home’s scent, but he grew more agitated and restless. We decided to let him out one day, and he didn’t come back. No big deal, business as usual really. After a few days, my wife suggested we take a walk around the neighborhood and call for him, an old tactic we would try that would usually result in him showing up in the next couple of days. We walked one night that first week he was gone……..just one. We should have walked every night, but the nights were turning cold, and we were tired from the day. He’ll be fine, we assured ourselves. After 2 weeks of him being gone, we were a little more worried, but this was still semi normal so we weren’t too upset about it. I was tired from work and lazy, and my wife has depression and was going through an especially rough episode, so we both just sat around thinking or saying we should walk and call for him, put flyers up, etc, but doing nothing about it. Finally out of desperation, my wife apologizes for her inability to take action and pleads with me to take the lead. I did it when she asked, but I shouldn’t have waited for her to ask me. I shouldn’t have been so lazy, should have acted sooner. I knew she was having a tough time but I figured it was wasted effort anyway. He will come home when he’s ready, like he always does. So approximately 17 days after our beloved friend, our old man, our fur baby of 9 years goes missing, the MAN of the house gets off his lazy ass and puts out signs on the street corners. And I was rewarded for my efforts. Two days later, I get a phone call from a man who saw my flyers. The voice on the other end says that he has found Tiny, but it was already too late. He was found by a landscaper, curled up under a bush, already gone. They had put him in a black garbage bag out in their driveway. I opened the bag just a little, and my heart sank. It only took the site of his black fur and and his beautiful little feet to know it was him. His fur was covered with frost. I put him in a box and took him home. Tiny had been stuck out on a wet night where it got below freezing. His precious little body had succumbed to the cold. I decided to bury him under a tree in the back yard. When I took him out and carefully laid him in the hole I had just dug, he appeared to be sleeping. He was curled up on his side, front arms folded under his body, eyes closed. It was just as if he was curled up in his favorite spot on our cat tree, or even lounging in a beam of sunlight in the kitchen window. I caressed his little head for the last time, scratching his ear as I often did, and then I shoveled the cold earth over my tiny dude, my buddy weasel bear. The worst part of all of this is that he was just across the street, literally less than 100 feet from his home when he died. Now I often ponder his final moments. Was he lost and searching for home and couldn’t find it? Did he wonder where we were, why we didn’t look for him more? Where was his daddy when he needed him? Did he come home that night, but no one was up to hear him at the door? So many regrets, and so many opportunities to change the outcome. I imagine him alone, cold, starving, and freezing to death. Not understanding why this is happening to him. And while my friend suffers a lonely and agonizing death due to my negligence, I’m relaxing inside, too lazy to care. The shame and guilt are overwhelming. I betrayed my friend, and I will never see him again.