Are you confused about your relationship? These signs your relationship is worth saving will help you see it – and your partner – in a new light.
How to Save Your Marriage
“You invested a lot of time, effort and emotional energy in your relationship,” says Jacqueline Del Rosario, “America’s Marriage Doctor.” “Things are good, and you think you’ve found ‘the one’ – that marriage-worthy person you’re prepared to spend the rest of your life with for better or for worse. But, before you say “I do” and turn this relationship into a life-long commitment, first determine if you and your mate are compatible in key areas proven to foster happy, healthy marriages that go the distance.”
Whether or not you’re married, Dr Del Rosario’s seven signs will help you figure out if your relationship can be saved, or if it’s better to call it quits…
How to Know If a Relationship is Worth Saving
1. You both want to work to save your relationship. The Beatles got it wrong – love is NOT all you need. Effort and work is necessary to cultivate a strong and satisfying relationship. If you are both willing to commit to constant fine-tuning, you’re more likely to save your relationship. If neither you nor your partner wants to make the effort now, it is unlikely to change later. In fact, the lack of effort and engagement could get even worse as complacency sets in. This may be a sign your relationship may not be worth saving.
One of the most important ways to know if a relationship is worth saving is how many of the 10 Signs of a Bad Relationship it has.
2. You are like-minded. While you don’t have to be exactly the same (let’s face it, that would be boring!), you need to have congruent core morals and values. These shape expectations and direction, and are essential ingredients of a healthy relationship. After all, how can two people travel together, and enjoy the journey, unless they are heading in the same direction and agree on how they will get there? Are you on the same pathway in terms of wants, needs and desires or are you headed down opposite roads? If yes, then your relationship is worth saving.
3. Your temperament balances one another. One of you may be an extrovert, and the other an introvert. One a Type A and the other more passive. While these glaring differences may lead to conflict at times, these opposing temperaments often bring balance. If you are the Yin to your mate’s Yang – and you both like it this way – you are more likely to achieve harmony and create a healthy relationship. While your relationship may not be worth saving if you and your partner’s traits are just too different, remember that slightly differing character traits helps create a well-rounded, whole, healthy, relationship.
4. You speak your partner’s “love language.” When two people with different dialects try to communicate, it is often confusing, frustrating and downright futile. Neither person understands what the other is trying to say. The same holds true in a marriage where each partner has their own “love language” – those romantic, sexual, and emotional needs that make each individual feel fulfilled. Is your partner taking the time to learn and speak your love language, and are you interested in speaking theirs? Then your relationship is worth saving.
5. You are attracted to your partner. Do you remember that initial spark of attraction and romance? There is a special chemistry that is electrifying when there is a true physical attraction. As your relationship matures, daily life issues dominate your attention, and bodies age, this fundamental human attraction can keep those fires burning between the two of you – both physically and emotionally.
Figuring out when to leave a relationship can be difficult, but it’s worth the effort. Don’t stay stuck in a relationship not worth saving!
“7 Signs Your Relationship is Worth Saving” image by Laurie
6. You genuinely like who your partner is as a person. This is a huge sign your relationship is worth saving! Your relationship must be based upon a solid friendship that can stand the test of time. It’s worth saving if you genuinely enjoy each other’s company and prefer to spend time together rather than alone or with others. You should like the person as much as you love them. Respect, admiration and honor are enduring traits that remain even as passion ebbs and flows over time. Can you truly say that your mate is your best friend? Would your partner say that about you?
7. You are able to work together to resolve problems. This is when the rubber meets the road. The bottom line is you have to be able to work through and resolve conflict in a healthy and productive manner. Relationships are filled with bumps, twists, and turns, so having a partner that works well with you to work through conflict minimizes stress. This certainly doesn’t mean you can or should enter marriage with the intent to change the other person, and don’t change who you are simply to keep the peace. If you can’t be true to yourself while learning when and how to compromise, then your relationship may not be worth saving.
What does your gut tell you? Is your relationship worth saving? I can’t offer personal advice, but I can almost guarantee you’ll find it helpful to write your thoughts here or in a private journal. Writing brings insight and clarity.
If your relationship isn’t worth saving, read How to Find the Strength to Leave a Bad Relationship.
“America’s Marriage Doctor” Jacqueline Del Rosario is President and CEO of Recapturing the Vision International, an organization dedicated to promoting healthy marriages and family strengthening.
